The way out is in: Solving your money, other problems by being mindful

Last weekend, I attended the triple celebration event of our national social scientist, Honey Carandang, PhD at the Pinto Museum. It was her 80th birthday, the 13th anniversary of her MLAC Foundation, and the launch of her nth book titled “The Way Out Is In (Living and Loving, Pandemics and Beyond)”.

I first encountered Dr. Honey in the parenting talks I attended while my sons studied at Xavier School. Whenever she had a talk at school, I always attended it, no matter what the topic was, because I always came home with new lessons and insights. Fast forward to when I wrote my first book “Raising Pinoy Boys”. It was a wild dream for me to request her to write the foreword because we really didn’t know each other personally. 

I raised my sons always reminding them, “You only have to ask,” that there was no point in being ashamed or embarrassed if you don’t get a yes to your request, for as long as you are not doing anything wrong. With this in mind, one afternoon, I was at the National Bookstore of Shangri-La Mall looking for books to buy. And lo and behold! Guess who was there too? It was Dr. Honey Carandang in the flesh. I introduced myself and we had a bit of a conversation. And I ended up asking her, “Would you be kind enough to look at my first book that I completed because I would love for you to write the foreword?” And I heard the most generous response, “Yes, send it over to me. I will read it on my way to Boston.” And the rest is my writing history.

For today’s article, I wish to discuss just a few points from her freshly published book. Although the book is not about money, I cannot help but pick up very valuable insights that are definitely applicable to the way we deal with money.

1. Intergenerational patterns or intergenerational traumas. We are all raised a certain way by our families. When we raise our own, we tend to follow the same patterns, most of the time, unconsciously. What struck me most about this discussion is this part: When as a young child, you did not feel the love of your mother, you did not see an unloving mother. You saw an unlovable child in yourself! 

Being aware of the presence of this intergenerational patterns should prompt us