Christmas memories
Near 10 p.m. last Friday, a mall in my part of town was still full of shoppers, with many bringing with them children and fur babies.
It was heartening to see many elderly folks also with their families.
Christmas is for children, but this season my mind is on the elderly as I care for my mother, who is going through what Filipinos describe as second childhood.
It’s easy to love and care for young children; they’re adorable, they can be cute even when they throw a tantrum and wail like a firetruck siren.
“Cute” is rarely used to describe the elderly. And it can be wrenching to watch someone no longer able to perform normal activities because of cognitive decline.
The onset of dementia can be easily missed by household members. I’m no medical expert, and dementia has different types and stages. But I’m sharing my experience in hopes of promoting understanding of the affliction and bringing some cheer to families that are dealing with it in this season of joy.
Memory loss is a serious impairment. One may still be able to read, sing and recognize people, but the ideas may no longer be strung together to allow the enjoyment of TV shows and movies, for example, or to read the news much less a novel. Facial recognition is limited.
A typical symptom, apart from unusual forgetfulness, is personality change, usually for the worse. The person loses empathy and becomes selfish and overly sensitive, as if constantly besieged and on survival mode.
You can google the early warning signs in reliable medical websites.
What I’m sharing are the ways that have helped calm down my mother or prevent the violent outbursts that used to occur when I was still unaware of her cognitive problem.
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A person with dementia can be like a toddler, who cannot be left alone while awake for prolonged periods. Constant companionship is needed, and every question must be answered, every comment not ignored, even if it has been said multiple times.
But unlike a toddler, my mother remembers that at age 88, she deserves respect; she cannot be scolded or ordered around. She responds best when something is suggested in a calm voice, with a reminder about the benefit she can derive from a
