The shocking inadequacy of our written English

LET me share my unsettling experience in 2003 when, as general manager of an English-language services company, I ran a want ad for editors. Most of the 100 applicants had an AB in English or mass communication; three were magna cum laudes and six cum laudes; and 10 even had master's degrees. But their job application letters — with two or three exceptions — were written in incredibly strange, convoluted, stilted English like this one below:

«Dear Sir/Madam:

»Greetings in Peace!

«Responding with utmost immediacy to your job opportunity ad published on January 6, ____ in the __________, I wish to inform you of my fervor interest in applying for the position of Editor. I am an AB graduate of the University of ______ with distinct recognition as a leader and achiever in the field of debating and as editor-in-chief of the student publication, journals, and other newsletters of the academe.

[The applicant then described a glowing work experience.]

»For your evaluation, I am enclosing my résumé as an attachment as a first step in exploring the possibilities of employment in your client's organization. I would appreciate hearing from you soon.

«Thank you for your consideration and God Bless.»

With such appalling English, I didn't call the applicants for an interview anymore and just decided to run another want ad. This, in fact, was what motivated me to write «English Plain and Simple: No-Nonsense Ways to Learn Today's Global Language.» First published in 2005, its third revised edition came off the press recently.

For entrants to the country's workforce like those who answered my want ad, my book strongly suggests using plain and simple English: «The English of [their] job application letters is obviously not the English to use when